Supplies Depot
The Society maintains a modest inventory of official goods. Sales are not a commercial venture; they are cost recovery. The margin, where one occurs, is spent on stamps.
There is no shopping cart. There is a requisition, which is different, in ways the Committee has agreed to articulate at a later date. You will decide what you need before you arrive, as members do.
The engravings formerly displayed on this page were described in member feedback as "crude." They have been replaced with photographic plates supplied by the bureau. The feedback has been noted, and filed, and remembered. Plates are reproduced in monochrome; color was reviewed and not retained. A loupe is provided — rest the pointer on a plate to inspect it. The loupe is the Society's; the steadiness is yours.
PLATE I — THE OFFICIAL MUG, AS MANUFACTURED. SUPERSEDES FIG. 1, WHICH HAS BEEN FILED.
White. Ceramic. The Society's seal and motto appear on one side; rotating the mug is your responsibility. The other side is blank, which several members consider the better side.
| Particular | Detail |
|---|---|
| Material | Ceramic, fired the normal amount. |
| Capacity | One coffee. Refills are a loop, and loops should be deliberate. |
| Care | Hand wash. The dishwasher is an automation. |
| Price | Being fetched from the ledger… |
| Availability | — |
| Requisition | Qty: |
PLATE II — THE MOUSEPAD, PHOTOGRAPHED WITHOUT COMMENT.
Previously discontinued on principle. Reinstated under protest, following a finding by the Treasurer that principles do not appear on the balance sheet. The surface is smooth; the decision was not. Legacy Fellows may purchase one as evidence.
| Particular | Detail |
|---|---|
| Material | Cloth over rubber. Both natural enemies of the keyboard purist. |
| Ornamentation | The seal, in one corner, small, as if hoping not to be noticed. |
| Care | Wipe monthly, or when observed. |
| Price | Being fetched from the ledger… |
| Availability | — |
| Requisition | Qty: |
PLATE III — THE MANIFESTO, REPRODUCED FLAT AND LEVEL. THE
BUREAU'S PHOTOGRAPHS WERE TAKEN AT AN ANGLE; THE ANGLE WAS DECLINED.
ONE SIZE, 18″ × 24″.
All twelve principles at wall scale, printed in a single color. A second color was proposed and remains under review. Suitable for offices, corridors, and the space above a colleague's monitor where their eyes go during standup.
| Particular | Detail |
|---|---|
| Ink | Black. The Committee reviewed several blacks. |
| Framing | Sold separately, and locally, as is proper. |
| Hanging | Level. Use a spirit level; the eye is an estimate. |
| Price | Being fetched from the ledger… |
| Availability | — |
| Requisition | Qty: |
PLATE IV — THE STICKER, SHOWN LARGER THAN IT SHOULD BE.
The Society's position is on record: a sticker is a comment on hardware, and comments drift from the truth. The Treasurer's position is also on record, and prevailed. This one is die-cut, matte, and at least signed.
| Particular | Detail |
|---|---|
| Finish | Matte. Gloss is a glow, and glow is for embers. |
| Adhesion | Permanent, like the systems it will decorate. |
| Placement | Level. See poster, hanging of. |
| Price | Being fetched from the ledger… |
| Availability | — |
| Requisition | Qty: |
| Item | Status |
|---|---|
| The Shirt | Deferred. The motion to approve a second size passed; the motion to approve the first is pending. |
| The Computation Ledger | Delayed at the bindery, which is one man, who is thorough. |
| USB drive with the manifesto on it | The manifesto is to be retyped, not copied. Request refused and framed. |
| Hoodie | Under review since 2019. The review is going well. |
Entered items appear below, transcribed from the wire. Quantities are recorded in words, as on any serious form.
The requisition is empty. This is the recommended state.
Settlement is conducted at the counter of the Society's fulfilment bureau. The Society waits outside, disapproving, until you return.
Members unwilling to requisition electronically may print Form ASS-7 below, complete it in ink, and post it with a cheque to the registered address, available on request from a current member. Processing time is honest but not brief.
| Item No. | Description | Qty (words, not digits) | Amount |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Official Mug | ||
| 2 | The Mousepad (Reinstated) | ||
| 3 | The Manifesto Poster | ||
| 4 | The Sticker | ||
| Postage (calculated by feel): | |||
| TOTAL (verified twice, by hand): | |||
| Name of requisitioner: | |
| Postal address: | |
| Membership rank (aspirational accepted): |
☐ I confirm this form was completed in ink, unhurriedly, and that no field was filled by machine, macro, or enthusiastic colleague.
Cheques payable to the Artisanal Software Society. Delivery estimates are estimates of when we will estimate delivery. Goods are dispatched in the order forms are opened, and forms are opened in the order the letter opener is located. The Artisanal Software Society is a satirical project; the mug, once it exists, is nonetheless real.
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